Noodle

Following the Senate investigation into the ZTE deal has been very depressing — from the way the senators comported themselves, Juan Ponce Enrile’s supercilious smirk (I’d love to punch that wry grin off his face), Miriam Santiago’s antics – but last Wednesday’s hearing did fling an extra bone my way: watching Comelec chair Benjamin Abalos squirm.  

I knew it was going to be good by the way Abalos has been running the elections like a goddamn personal playground over the years, ramming his shod on each overeager politician’s ass as they grin and bear it. Abalos managed to wrangle himself out of the “Hello Garci” and P1.3 Mega Pacific scandal hearings “in aid of legislation.”

Not this time… no siree! The tough bully was finally given his comeuppance.

Before Miriam Santiago walked out of the hearing over reasons as palpable as her Ilonggo accent, she managed to lay down the predicate: that the investigation couldn’t be possibly be made a venue to sift the truth in cases of two persons hurling accusations at each other, while hiding behind half-truths and half-lies. To illustrate, at one point during the hearings Abalos called former Socioeconomic and Planning Sec. Romulo Neri a bare-faced liar when the latter accused the Comelec chair of offering him 200; Neri’s reaction? He said he has a vivid recollection of the events that transpired at Wack-Wack golf club. The question now is who committed perjury?

To digress, could Santiago have walked out to save face? I mean, after Neri swore that Abalos offered him 200 million(?), there’s no defending the Comelec chair after that point. Not because Neri’s character is impeccable but rather on Abalos’ reputation. As far as perceptions go, the term character and the name Abalos seem a logical inconsistency; unless taken into context of the movie, where “character actors” generally refer to villains. Not to mention that the red-faced Abalos has been caught many times with his hand inside his pants.

I only have one rule when confronted with the he-said-she-said scenario: whoever has more to lose is most probably lying.

Now, I’m not trying to dissect the political and economic repercussions of the continuing investigations or even if the hearings were warranted in the first place. I leave that up to the economists, political analysts and columnists.

I’m just saying that most senators don’t exactly possess the unbiased personality of the justices, for example. All too often, the lofty collective intention to fiscalize the actions of our officials will eventually be deflated by personal motives.

Look at Nene Pimentel: Why does he have to sink so low as to name somebody as Abalos’s mistress? Couldn’t he stop to think about the effects of his accusation, based on text messages no less, on the girl? And how could that, pray tell, impact on nailing down Abalos for allegedly brokering the ZTE deal?

The only logical explanation, of course, is he felt bitter because his son Koko lost due supposedly to cheating in last May 2007 elections under Abalos’ watch. Unfair? Maybe… but he brought it upon himself.

The statement of the year however comes from Abalos’ wife who said that after a prostate problem, her husband has become, well, a limp noodle.

Unless somebody comes forward that could prove to be the smoking gun in identifying the personalities behind the pay-offs, the investigation will go nowhere. So I have a suggestion: Since the grease money has already been advanced, why doesn’t the Supreme Court, who earlier issued a temporary restraining order, just junk the ZTE deal?

Whoever floats at Pasig river, I pronounce guilty.