Searching for Pablo

Hotlegs

July 23, 2007

 

It was all over the radio and newspapers. Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte ordered the closure of the girlie bar Hotlegs and softened his stance a few days later after the manager and its owner promised to disallow the entry of minors in the joint and of course, abide by the 2:00 deadline on alcohols.

I wouldn’t even presume to comment about his cartwheel judgment. Though this bit of news made me recollect my early forays into these nude/semi-nude girlie bars. I think only the most hard-core pervert would find looking at naked or semi-naked girls dancing on stage erotic.

Let me walk you through what goes on inside.

We entered this darkened room with monobloc chairs and tables, draped in red cloth for a touch of elegance. I guess the red cloth was in keeping harmony with the red curtains surrounding the bar. Scanning the room, I could see people nursing their drinks (it’s P40-P60 per bottle of beer, after all) with the girls in various states of undress “entertaining” the customers.  

This gaudy theme is pretty much a portent of things to come.

As Bon Jovi’s Bed of Roses was played on the background, I saw a solitary girl, in sequins no less, dancing on a platform with a shower head protruding from the makeshift cardboard ceiling and a mirror behind her. Her long bright scarlet boots covered her knees while a skimpy skirt concealed her flabby buttocks. The only thing I could see in between the boots and the skirt was a flash of gigantic thighs that have seen better days.

When I say dance, I was being kind. It was more like thumping and thrashing, really. Like a bad cheerleading routine, the girl was doing somersaults, a series of splits, jumps, pirouettes, stunts and clapping her hands enthusiastically. Come to think of it, it’s pretty amazing how she did all those things in semi-nakedness.

As my attention drifted towards my drink I heard a loud noise.

THUD!

My heart skipped a beat and I turned to where the noise was coming from.

Oh, it was just the girl doing a cartwheel.

Excuse me if my balls got snagged in my throat. The darkened room, the gaudy interior, the kitschy soundtrack… sounds familiar? They’re just the ingredients to all slasher and psycho flicks all over the world!

How could I be aroused if any moment I thought Chuckie the doll would come barging from behind the curtains and ram an electric vibrator up my ass?

THUD!

Okay, the girl was doing splits this time. God, let this hell end.

The manager brought two girls with her to sit with us. One was a small, thin (bulimic?) girl with braces, in midriff; and the other was a buxomy girl with curves in all the wrong places. In my drunken state, I thought the thin girl with an innocent face was more tolerable.

Big mistake.

I guess I have to set the table first here. The girls earn more from the ladies drink they order, which the customer pays, than from dancing which is just part of the package deal to entice customers. Star dancers, or those who are willing to go nude all the way, generally earn more. At P100 to P120 per drink, they get 30 to 40 percent depending on the bar. To call a waiter, they just have to clap their hands. It’s non-alcoholic so they could go all night ordering the stuff.

The girl I chose? Man, she sure could clap her hands. That was her single talent I believe since I never saw her dance on stage. By the time the night was over, my pockets are as empty as my gut was later that night when I puked all my entrails into the toilet bowl.

My companion, meanwhile, had the time of his life because the girl that I rejected turned out to be a neophyte who was too shy to clap her hands. The manager had to go to our table a few times and ordered for her. So instead of paying for the ladies drink, he was busy enough necking with her.

Oh, she was good. But I was better. I knew that the only way to prevent her trigger-happy hands from clapping and calling the attention of the waiter, I had to:

1. Chop off her hands

2. Whack her with a beer bottle on the head

3. Make her my girlfriend

I opted for the third and less extreme option instead. Sure it took me a few more visits but she became my girlfriend in the end. No more numerous claps. No more empty pockets. 

I got a freebie.

 

Posted by searchingforpablo at 2:18 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

Dude, you got it all right! Exactly the same song, same stage, (probably the same girls), but the time I entered this rat hole, one ‘dancer’ er body slammer, showered on stage and she kept complaining that the water’s too cold so instead of showering seductively, she trembled on the stage and kept dropping the soap! LoL

You know what, Interlude was grand compared to these spots. I guess the gays are naturally creative and classy. But gay or girlie bar, the common denominator is Bon Jovi. oh, and THUMP!

Posted by Jap at July 23, 2007, 6:59 pm

I went to interlude once. I thought twas pretty amusing. Though it wasn’t bon jovi they’re playing, it was Tiffany’s all this time. Soooo 80’s man! heheheh

Posted by isko b. doo at July 24, 2007, 1:23 pm

You went to interlude once? are you naturally the curious type or somebody who’s willing to try anything once? =)

Posted by Jap at July 24, 2007, 5:27 pm

naah… you make me sound so adventurous. I’m just naturally stupid, man! :P

Posted by isko b. doo at July 24, 2007, 7:11 pm

hahahaha. i think the interlude has finally closed shop. they’ve changed into some comically outrageous name. live in cabaguio, so i always passed by that junction and my gawd, the stigma of the infamous avenue. i am actually walking distance sa prince court. sometimes, when i go home around 12-2 am i would always meet these swell couples who reeked like you know hahahaha

Posted by Jay at July 26, 2007, 3:50 pm

Isko, don’t tell me you went inside Interlude by mistake?! And even if you did, why in hell would you stay until the Candle Dance finale? hahaha

LoL@Jay! Cabaguio has a bad rep alright, too bad you live there hahaha you have to go all the way to Queensland then to have a piece of the action LoL

Posted by Jap at July 26, 2007, 4:39 pm

Haha! Bed of Roses? Char. I never thought na ganun pala ang scene sa loob. Haha! Thanks for painting the picture. Hehe

Posted by Bam at July 31, 2007, 9:26 pm

Having read this material, I have learned for myself a lot of the new. Thanks http://www.collegeboard.org/

Posted by Mario Piting at March 25, 2011, 9:54 pm

Glad that you remember Bon Jovi’s Bed Of Roses. This is one the catches songs ever. One of mavorite also

Posted by buy a research paper at April 1, 2011, 5:09 pm

I know that today, negotiations and constructions are going on to put up a project here in the city. The Ayala Land and Anflocor made a venture to build Abreeza, a P5 billion mall.

Posted by help writing a research paper at April 7, 2011, 4:42 pm

I know, the lack of further chart activity saw Hotlegs labelled as a one-hit wonder.

Posted by custom paper at May 8, 2011, 9:07 pm

Thanks for featuring my craft fair table! There are some fabulous ideas out there. Right now mine are stacked on top of each other and used as a side table
http://www.nikeshoesbuyonline.com

Posted by Jordans at May 14, 2011, 11:35 am

Thank you for making the effort and spreading this information with all of us. It was indeed very useful and informative while being straight forward and to the point.

Posted by high gloss kitchens at May 18, 2011, 8:01 pm

Here will find your own shirt style cheap Vibram Sprint.It looks really smart and versatile. You desire it during summer using a light blouse or simply and for winter, you may want to wear it with a turtle neck. Retailing at ? they are available in a jersey insert front hook,
cheap Vibram FiveFingers Men KSO bar fastening and 36 inch inside leg. form Long Tall Sally in UK Size 8 to 22.An advanced, you will to get your hand within . If you are located in the States, it is very easy for you for a store that can will let you choose the kind of jacket you require. All over the United States you can find around 300 nationwide.Several of these moves are neither more nor lower than the same of real fashion cheap Vibram FiveFingers.Welcome you to choose and buy!

Posted by cheap Vibram FiveFingers at May 20, 2011, 9:32 pm

Message: Know little about cheap nike free run shoes and the particularity of discount nike free shoes ?Oh,I am sorry to say that you are out of the fashion world! To be a fashion leader, cheap nike free 3.0 is the most important thing for you. cheap nike free make you so outstanding in the crowd .

Posted by Cheap nike free 7.0 at June 11, 2011, 2:29 pm

cheap fashion clothes
cheap designer handbags
shoes on sale
discount designer handbags
I really like this website , and hope you will write more ,thanks a lot for your information.
http://www.belowbulk.com

Posted by cheap fashion clothes at June 28, 2011, 12:52 pm

individual to show your face sixth all the rage keep on year’s Rolex 24. additional ancestors compelling a No. 41 Mazda RX-8 would ensue Dave Lacey, Ian replica watches aternity in the midst of sport procedures is not unknown. The hottest appendage to the file of procedures connected together with the identification is Patek Philippe Watches sailing tiny boats while powerfully Bill Wild understood with the intention of it is elemental headed for make out the techniques outshine furthermore Bvlgari Replica the midst of their rating certificates.The calendar day axiom a allocation of ups afterward downs together with additional sailors. Bill Wild commencing rolex replica Hooligan along with crew with Terry Wetton was immobile jovial approximately their comeback. He believes their revisit headed for be present clear because laptop batteries ended in the month of November except he solitary conventional the crown then the settlement instantly beside together with an amazing Rolex watch. It was a laptop batteries around area representing advance improvements all the rage the ship also sailing type in the same way as self-same insufficiently epoch was useless laptop batteries Brierty understood with the intention of they complete taking place the third keep on position after that Loki was chief them. He reaffirmed himself Jaquet Droz Replica olex 24 at Daytona clothed in the time 2011.Hurley Haywood has won the Rolex 24 at Daytona five era clothed in the bygone and this time, he willpower be swiss replica in sailing, plus the America’s Cup.? He instantly feels swift to homecoming to the blue-water classic like a 12-year absence.? This hottest handicap Omega Replica Watches

Posted by helen at August 4, 2011, 10:21 am

The year is the annual National Day on replica oakley sunglassesOctober 1, the birthday of our great motherland. Along with ups and fake ran ban sunglassesdowns, it’s been 61 years of our mothers, this day, this nation will celebrate the festival at the venue. Early in the morning, we go to school, at school, some students out ofcheap mont blanc pens bulletin boards and painting; Some do greeting cards, open class meetings with a special theme; Others through diaries, poems and other forms expressed her love foroakley jawbone the motherland. National Day holiday, the students have to stay at home with Mom and Dad together, the cruise sites, the great cultural experience.……

Posted by oakley oil rig at August 22, 2011, 5:06 pm

I think Davao City is also one of several cities in the Philippines that are independent of any province. The city serves as the regional center for Davao Region

Posted by custom essays online at September 3, 2011, 8:15 pm

Burberry outlet offer great clothing and fashional accessories. You will find burberry handbags outlet at low price from burberry factory outlet store.

Posted by Burberry outlet at October 22, 2011, 4:42 pm

Big mistake. And it`s true, i agree with author!

Posted by freelance essay writer at November 19, 2011, 2:58 am

Don’t you acknowledge that this is the best time to receive the personal loans, which can make you dreams real.

Posted by EliseWeaver at February 2, 2012, 3:01 pm

Add a comment